Coming Home: Psychotic Break to I Can Trust

Merry and me, home again.

It’s like dying. Drowning. A total eclipse of the sun.

This time, without my baby, without my Marion, it’s the shock of a grief you don’t expect and can’t possibly be prepared to receive. You stagger under the blow. Nothing sensible remains. Since her conception and birth in 2017, my daughter’s wellbeing has been my primary focus and full time job. She was the person I missed the most, and this time, I didn’t think I was coming back.

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A Bend in the Road: Sow Weeping, Reap Joy

You’re trucking along, minding your own business and feeling like you’ve got a handle on life. Then, when you least expect it, mist descends on a bend in the road. Your sense of security evaporates, and you hover on the brink of the unknown. My journey into healing is anything but linear, and some days are better than others. And in this journey of becoming more whole, taking each day as it comes, in frustration and in thankfulness, I can be flattened by a bend in the road.

March 15, 2017: For the last two weeks, my exhaustion and moodiness had reached new heights. The nausea and fatigue dragged me from my bed to the couch and back all day long. I told David repeatedly that it was over, I was done with GAPS, it obviously wasn’t working anymore. When my period was late, I decided to cover my bases and take a pregnancy test. I had a feeling it was going to be positive…and it was!

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Calming Christmas: 7 Albums for Pandora and Beyond

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I love Christmas music. I love it so much that I secretly listen to it year-round. It’s always driven the men in my house crazy, but I don’t care because it’s my therapy. My favorites are a blend of the sacred and the secular, always melodic and easy on the ears.

As a self-avowed Christmas music junkie, I felt it only right, in the spirit of the season, to offer my top picks for a relaxing Christmas mood. Type them into Pandora and play them at a Christmas party. Crank them up while you bake cookies or clean the never-ending pile of holiday dishes. Or, if you’re like me, plug in your headphones and try not to give away the fact that you’re lost in the glories of O Come All Ye Faithful in September.

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